Central Florida Future, Vol. 15 No. 25, April 1, 1983

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FUTURE
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Vol. 15 No. 1
April 1,1983
'American Dream' to speak at graduation
by Michael E. Griffin
Editor In chief.
Dr. K. Phillip Tayloff chairman
the university commencement committee, announced Tuesday that pro
wrestler Dusty "The American
Dream" Rhodes had been chosen to
speak at next month's graduation
exercises.
Taylor said Rhodes' community
work was "above reproach" and
that his "bionic elbow should be an
inspiration to all of us."
Rhodes, who has competed for the
National Wrestling Alliance's
World Heavyweight Championship
127 times, but has been cheated out
of it repeatedly, said he was
"honored as rat spit to be afforded
WUCF:
manager wants different audience
the opportunity to speak to tommor-
row's wrestling fans."
Taylor, who is an avid professional wrestling enthusiast, said
Rhodes was the man of our time.
"He symbolizes guts, determination
and stamina," Taylor said. Besides,
he's willing to do it for nothing."
Gordon Solie, famed NWA announcer, said he thought the idea
was great but added that the Funk
Brothers "may have some tricks up
their sleeves before the day's over."
At any event, Taylor is certain no
one will get up and leave this year.
"The mass exodus from commence-
by Patty Branton
Contributing writer
WUCF-FM will undergo yet
another format change, Station
Manager Keith Fowles announced at
a press conference Tuesday.
Fowles said the previous format
change to the "big band sound" did
not elicit any corporate underwriters.
Fowles said he was disappointed by
the lack of corporate response.
"I thought the 'big band sound'
would bring the 'big bucks'— obviously I was mistaken. So we'll just
have to try something else," Fowles
said.
That "something else" will be
another format change for the campus
station. Beginning April 6, WUCF-
FM will broadcast a mixture of
Gregorian chants and famous beer
polkas.
Fowles said he made the decision to
change formats in hopes of attracting
"major religious and tavern funding."
He added that the prospect of getting
another front page color photo of himself in the Orlando Sentinel in no way
affected his decision.
Fowles said the first few days of the
new programming might be difficult.
"We only have about 25 records that
conform to our new format—and most
of those come from the personal
collection of Professor Elmar Fet-
scher,"hesaid.
But, Fowles said, if listerners stay
with WUCF-FM, whey will be in for
some cultural treats. "We're really
excited about getting the rights to
broadcast the soundtracks to all of
Kenneth Clark's 'Civilization' films,"
Fowles said. He does not yet know
when these classics will air.
Most members of the student staff
at the station, however, are not supportive of the new change. John Martin, who asked not to be identified,
said, "We'll lose most of our day
listeners; hopefully we'll still pick
them up at night for jazz and
progressive rock.''
Music Director Mike Mangan said
those students who wish to be picked
up at night should meet in front of the
library at 8 in the evenings. WUCF-
FM will provide a van that will transport the students to local clubs
where they can hear jazz and
progressive rock, Mangan said.
Chokin' Charley
Orlando Sentinel columnist
Charley Reese strangled himself to
death in front of a class of journalism students Tuesday. "I just
can't live with this conservative,
pig-headed image I've made for
myself anymore," Reese said.
SG hires circus to attract, entertain student voters
by Roger Simmons
Futile news
Student Body President Tico
Perez announced Thursday at the
student senate's regular meeting
that a large corporation has made a
bid to run UCF's election process.
Perez said the company presented
its plans under the title of "The
Greatest Vote on Earth."
Ringling Brothers and Barnum
and Bailey Circus submitted its proposal to help increase UCF voter
turnout over a week ago. Perez said
that he has been considering the proposal very carefully since then and
presented the package to the senate
for its approval.
Mr. Jack Donkin, director of mer-
Surf report
Eileen Samelson/Futlle
Waves for Friday are 2 to 3 feet and choppy. Look for small tubes. For a
detailed reflecting pond surf report, tune in WUCF-FM each day at 7 a.m.
Sponsored by Dumb Blonds and Inlet Outlet stores.
chandizing for the circus, said that if
his company's plans were adopted,
UCF could expect at least a 75 percent voter turnout every presidential election and 65 percent every
senate election.
Donkin said that the circus would
provide an even bigger tent than the
one this year where students would
watch lions, tigers, and bears parade
around voting machines. "In between acts, students would be allowed to go to the machines to exercise
their right of democracy," Donkin
told the senate. "Ringling Brothers
has been famous for its three-ring
circus, now UCF will be able to
make the claim that it has three-ring
voting." he concluded.
The circus executive also recommended the senate hold its sessions
next to the tent during the voting
process. The side-show atmosphere
that the senate would provide, "will
give the area a real circus feel,"
Donkin said.
After some debate, the senate approved the proposal unanimously.
ment has got to stop," Taylor said.
"We thought long and hard about a
keynote speaker and we wanted to
ensure that a dignified program was
provided."
Commencement will be held in the
reflecting pond this year and, according to Taylor, the committee is going to try something new. "We're
not going to drain it this year!"
Taylor said he was interested to
see if engineering and computer
science majors could really walk
across the surface to get their
diplomas.
UCF loses
university
land lease
by Wayne Starr
Futile news
In a surprise move, UCF Presient
Trevor Colbourn announced that the
university will be closing its doors
for good as soon as the current
semester ends.
The news was made public at a
press conference attended by several
local luminaries, including Orlando
Mayor Bill Frederick and Gov. Bob
Graham.
"I hate to say this," Colbourn
began slowly, "but we've lost our
lease. I just don't know what happened to it. I always keep it in the
same spot—right next to my bed on
the nightstand between the
clockradio and the almanac—but it
has just disappeared."
Upon questioning, it was revealed
that the lease was actually lost
several months ago, but Colbourn
was able to keep the matter a secret
until his maid threatened to leak the
information if she wasn't given a
substantial raise. "I refuse to bow to
terrorists and blackmailers," Colbourn said, "and Mrs. Tucker
demanded an extra $10 a week." He
added that she was already getting
"more than the minimum wage."
Colbourn said he never thought he
was the type to lose a lease. "I see
that goofy-looking cowboy on TV all
the time, crying that one of those
waterbed stores lost its lease, but
for the president of a major university to do the same thing is really embarrassing," he said.
Colbourn said that he might have
to move to a foreign country to save
face—he mentioned Aruba or New
Jersey as possibilities.
At the end of the press conference,
Colbourn broke down and had to be
helped from the podium.
A spokesman announced that
degrees would be sold with prices
ranging from $12 for an asssociate
of arts degree to $67. Fifty dollars
for a master's degree. The sale will
begin the day after commencement,
April 29, and will run for one week
only.